Reconnecting the Sexes – A podcast

Last night, Alex Robinson, Fitzy, Michael and I came together to record a conversation. A conversation about the incredible divide felt between the sexes and how we might be able to overcome this through the power of  respectful, open and honest communication.

I understand that some of the points that we bring up will not be for everyone, but luckily, it will only play if you really want it to.

If you are open to humanity, healing and friendship, feel free to listen in to our conversation, which is downloadable here.

Taking off the Mask

Since I began doing research for my makeup article over at GMOT, I have been cutting back on wearing makeup. It has been a slow, but seemingly effective process. Up until very recently, I would have sworn that I could not leave my house without my makeup on. For the most part, I didn’t even feel comfortable being in my own house without makeup, let alone be caught dead in public without  it. Whatever my reasoning was, whether or not I actually thought I would get lynched if I left the house without any makeup….I  just would have seen it as a fact that I would not….or could not do it.

I began the process slowly, by cutting back on different items. First I stopped wearing blush and realized that I survived without it on. I stopped wearing eyeliner, which was a big step for me, as it had become a staple in my daily makeup ritual. Next to go was the eyeshadow…and so on, until I would just wear foundation and a little bit of mascara. Lately, I have even been cutting out on the MASK-ara, which I am still getting used to though. I already knew that I was becoming more comfortable without make up, but what was really shocking to me was when I realized that I was no longer comfortable WITH all of it on.

Recently, I went to a concert with some friends and decided to play around with make up again. I decided to go all out with the glittery eyeshadow, too much eyeliner and about 10 layers of mascara…Even as I was putting it on, it felt really strange and uncomfortable. Throughout the rest of the night, I found myself unable to really look at myself when I would pass by a mirror and see my reflection. I felt like an imposter. It’s not that it looked awful, it just didn’t look like me. The strange thing is, up until a few months ago I easily would have worn this as an ‘every day’ look, without thinking twice about it.

I’m not saying that I will never wear make up again, but I feel like I have made significant strides in becoming more comfortable in my own skin again…Not to mention how it has affected me emotionally. This is something that has been really interesting for me, since it started out mostly as an experiment. When I first started to cut back on make up, I probably would have told you that I couldn’t do it. That I wasn’t able to be myself without it, and now the tables have turned. More importantly, I have a new found self-confidence, that is much more powerful than the false sense of confidence I gained from wearing makeup. I think that is the major difference between just feeling and actually being confident. The difference between hiding behind a mask and being comfortable showing the world the real me.

re-humanising women, reigniting conversation, and reconnecting with our childhood

Last week, I had a wonderful opportunity to be a guest on the Rebel Path. Well, not so much a guest, as a co-host….along with four other women: Alex Robinson, Shannon, Anna and Sinead. Here is a link to the write up, which includes a link to the show:

http://toolonginthisplace.wordpress.com/2012/01/17/re-humansing-women-reigniting-conversation/

By laying down all of our weapons and shields, we were able to weave a conversation that touched on many different topics, many of which were new territory for us, and I would imagine for the listeners as well. There were so many important issues that we discussed during the show. One of the major themes of the show was the importance of reconnecting with the world around us, as we did when we were children. I have been allowing myself to be more open to this and would like to share a story.

Last week, we were hit by a snowstorm. The area where I live does not usually get much snow, so when it hits us, it hits very hard. We were without power for a couple of days. This was due to the combination of snow and ice, which had accumulated on many of the trees, causing many branches to fall and in some cases entire trees to be uprooted, many of which hit major power lines.

There are two trees on either side of my back porch, my “smoking porch” and I was very worried that they were going to become victims of the heavy ice encasing their branches. Our neighbor’s tree was one of the unfortunate trees to fall into the street and that is the same type of tree (though I couldn’t tell you what kind). With each cigarette I smoked throughout the day/night, I could see the trees leaning farther and farther into the road. Usually their branches are not close enough to touch, but I noticed that after awhile they were leaning down so far that their branches began to intertwine. To me it seemed like they were holding hands or trying to support one another to stay as upright as possible.

The next morning, luckily, it was raining and the snow and ice were beginning to melt, slowly but surely. When I stepped out on the porch for my morning cigarette and cup of coffee, I sat back to watch something interesting unfold. There were a lot of little birds out (though, again, I couldn’t tell you what kind), urgently chirping and trilling to one another. I couldn’t help but notice that they were jumping from one tree to another and jumping from branch to branch. Their sporadic movements caused the ice to break off, while knocking the ice off of the other branches that were hit on the way down. I began to daydream a bit and toyed with the idea that perhaps they were helping the trees. Although the ice was already beginning to melt, it would have taken much longer without their assistance.

Now obviously I have no way of ever proving that any of that is true. I think that even if I could, I’m not sure that I would really even want to. This way at least there is still a possibility that they could have been doing so. I have to say, if nothing else, it was much more entertaining to watch than anything I’ve ever seen on TV or in the media. I almost feel guilty adding this last bit, as it is such an “adult” thing to do….trying to backtrack on what I’ve said and prove that I’m not really crazy, that I couldn’t possibly believe such nonsense. I know for a fact that any child telling the same story would tell it with unwavering conviction. Apparently I’m not quite at that point yet of connecting with the world as a child, but I can sense that I am becoming more open to it. If it hadn’t been for our show last week, I doubt I would have ever even considered any of the above….not even for a second.

Das ist der Anfang

To be honest, it feels strange starting a new blog. If I had to compare it to something, I might compare it to moving in to a new house. When you first move in somewhere, it’s exciting and new, but it doesn’t exactly feel like home yet. It takes time before it feels comfortable and as if it is your own. Eventually I hope to have that comfortable familiarity with this blog, but I understand that it might take time. Or it could happen immediately, I still have no idea what to expect really, so bear with me people, while I figure this out.

What I do know is that this will be my space to spill my guts. My own personal space. A place for my own musings, rants, reflections,  etc. My internal debates turned external. I have so many thoughts and ideas that have been weighing me down for too long. Building up and swirling around inside of my head, so much that I almost feel ready to burst. I cannot stress the importance for me to start this blog. It is necessary, I would even go so far as to say that  it’s vital.  I need to create this space for honesty, maybe even brutal honesty. Maybe even slap you in the face honesty….but it won’t be painful for very long, I promise. And after a moment, the sting will go away and perhaps you will have gained a new perspective. The world through someone else’s eyes. Even if it’s just a short glimpse. One blog post and then maybe one more. Just to get an idea. You may even learn a thing or two, about the world, about yourself….but that isn’t my intention. Not officially, anyway. It is simply to be heard. You don’t even have to agree with me, in fact, I welcome you to challenge my views. Tell me your own perspectives and how those are different or similar to my own. Tell me I’m wrong…though I won’t promise that I will listen. What I can promise is that I will consider it, if only for a moment or two. I only hope that you will consider my thoughts and ideas as well. It’s only fair.

To catch a glimpse of some of my recent thoughts, I have written an article, which lives over at Great Minds of Today. There are some wonderful pieces by various authors and the direct link to my article is here.  On a related note, Kyle Hunt, from Star Theory had the lovely Alex Robinson from Too long in this place and myself as guests on his blogtalk show, which you can listen to and find the write up here. Enjoy!